Friday, February 26, 2010

Billy Booze: 56 Days Sober

Even he's drinking tonight....

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Houston

Coming off a great weekend in Brea, Bill will be in Houston.  He's got a lot of great new material you should check out.  Some kid's YouTube video, complete with half an HD view of Bill's face and 5.1 surround of the lady behind him coughing isn't going to do justice.  Don't wait for this weeks Bill Guilts to buy tickets.

Donate to Bill

Billy Booze: 55 Days Sober

theAddendum would like to wish Bill an honest congratulations....

Every day until Bill finally breaks - we're gonna seek out people who are probably having more fun than Bill right now.


Sunday, February 21, 2010

February 22, 2010 - Suicide, Rainbow Jesus & Slap Happy Cops

OFF THE BAT

Lots of stuff to cover this week...

Bill kicks it off a little love for the new podcast provider.

Apparently a 'web' 'guy' is going to 'build' Bill his own 'player'.

More to come on this next week.




Bill couldn't get through Joseph 'the Note Man' Stack's Suicide Note - Full Note Here


Curling is not to be made fun of in Bill's world.
Learn to curl with the best of them.  I know nothing about this chick - but she's so hot.  So she'll be representing 'the best of them'.













OH JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rollen Stewart knows Jesus very well. But unlike Bill and Booze - Rollen just couldn't get off the Jesus Train.

Here's Rollen if you don't know him.

















IF CRUCIFIXION WON'T KEEP JESUS DOWN - JAIL AIN'T GONNA KEEP THE RAINBOW FROM THUMBIN' UP

Also, here are some highlights in the life of Rollen Stewart, and a time line of just how much OH JESUS did for our boy Rainbow.

THIS WEEK IN FILM

This teacher allegedly abused some of her kids. She says some shit the cop doesn't dig and he does exactly what he wants to do. Slap the bitch.





This video blew up this week. Old white guy owns younger black dude on bus. (bad choice of words?)



More of the old man talking shit here.

BILL ASKS

Bad Wedding Experiences...

1.     Listener's Story:  Wanted to call off her own wedding around the time of the bridal shower.  Stayed married for 9 years.  Husband had 12 jobs in 9 years.  Only had sex twice in 9 years (what the fuck?).  After a few years they started doing their own things.  Husband gets credit card bills with different address - likely spent money on food and comic books.   Dude missed 3 b-days.

Advice:  The little things that annoy you will only get worse.  End the wedding before the wedding.


2.     Listener's Story:  Court judge set to marry Doctor.  Judge finds out her husband-to-be Doctor was not actually a Doctor.  Practiced and performed surgery...without training....?
FBI comes to arrest.  She has reception anyways.







BILL GUILTS


  Bill and Lars Ulrich are teaming up to stop pirated media.

Check out www.BillAndLarsWinlessAdventure.com


or just buy a dvd  HERE
or go to a show     DATE




OBSCURITIES


MUSIC:

Opeth - progressive death metal
Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros - Central Park filled with Starbuck's employees and copious amounts of acid  (bill reccomends desert song)


LIT:


The 48 Laws of Power  -  abbreviated version here


OVERRATED/UNDERRATED 
Underrated:

1.  Silence
2.  Man's Man
3.  Good Driving
4.  Proof reading in emails
5.  Foreign Accents  - get all the ass


Overrated

1.  Metro-sexuals
2.  Shows about famous mother fucker's lives
3.  Mass Transportation
4.  Snow
5.  Patient parents


ASK BILL

1.  Listener:  Got part time job.  Going to college.  Playing in band.  Banging broads.  Might start stand-up.

The problem?  His own Sperm. 
The Solution? Talk girls into abortion and an early life Vasectomy.

Bill Says:  Wear a rubber.  Why chance the surgery? 



Tuesday, February 16, 2010

February 15, 2010 - The New Testament


Bill is off the G-Cast.

Back to the original 14 listeners. Back to being the Susan Boyle of Podcasts.

Subscribe to the 'new' podcast if you haven't already.

MONDAY MORNING PODCAST


OFF THE BAT

Shinglesinfo.com - Pretty fun stuff........Next Week - Rickets!


ASK BILL

Listener:
Diamonds are worthless. Fiances and future fiances are selfish.

Bill:
Full agreement. Show your fiance' Blood Diamond and/or refuse to support the torture and enslavement of small African children.


Listener:
Thanks Bill for helping him get through having triplets. Has anxiety over kids and market crash. Father's day weekend his wife tells him she doesn't love him. She slides her ring off to see if he notices. Guy is busy trying to survive. Wife goes on a date - listener immediately forgives her for sake of kids. Goes to counseling. Still sees the other guy.



Bill:
Classic woman - doesn't say shit about what is on their mind. "Why are you sending signals? Say what is on your mind!"

"Jesus Christ....what a phone call"

Bill calls the listener's ex-wife a Cunt per request.

(Please send all - "Will you call _____ a cunt for me?" requests to Bill@billburr.com)



OVERRATED/UNDERRATED
Overrated: Alfredo Sauce
Bill says: Not an Alfredo guy. Italian food 'give's a fuck'.

Underrated: Corset
Bill says: I don't hang out in saloons.

Underrated: Playoff hockey - fighting is out and they actually place
Bill says: Dude - you're not watching hockey if you think there's thuggery still in hockey. Shit is clean now. For all you fucking pussies who don't understand fighting is part of the game. Cross country skiers with rifles? Boxing - the sweet science?


Overrated: Complaining about traffic.
Bill says: I know it's not an illness but let me complain.

Overrated: The phrase 'bad test taker'. Students blaming grades on this principle - probably just retarded.
Bill says: When it doesn't count - you're good. When it does - you don't. Like Peyton Manning. Blowing it up in the finals after a full regual

Underrated: Tim Alexander - drummer for Primus
Bill says: He is the shit.


OBSCURITIES:

Muisc: The Expendables, Pelican, Ten Foot Ganja Plant, Seven Day Bridge

Lit: House of Leaves by
Mark Z. Danielewski - Huge cult following. Puzzle to read, stories and events "awesomely presented". If you wanna know what it's like to be insane.




LISTENER HOMEWORK:

When did you have the 'locking the door moment' from Bronx Tale. When did you know you were ready to give it all up for marriage?


Monday, February 15, 2010

February 10th, 2010




Bill talks about Peyton Manning, as illustrated in the above video. Beyond that, we hear about his trip to church, his hot french teacher, and a perv scout.



OBSCURITIES:
FILM
The Conversation - starring Gene Hackman and our man Fredo on the left - John Cazale (imdb - bill recommends).

Whatever Works & Match Point - a Woody Allen flicks.

Demolition Man - Stallone/Snipes - if you're into micro-chipping and world governments.

LIT
Sophie's World - "It really takes you to the edge of your mind" - by way of Socrates, Aristotle & Plato.


ASK BILL:
Listener:
Chasing girl for a year. She's hot and cold. Makes him jealous. He's confronted her. She hates when he gets jealous.

Bill:
"She is standing on an old Victorian House waving the, 'BEWARE - I'm a Cunt', flag."
"She's playing with your fucking mind."
"Fuck her"
"Fuck that, beat that feeling down. And you beat it down with alcohol and hittin' on girls you don't give a shit about."

OVERRATED/UNDERRATED:
Listener: Overrated - Children
Underrated - "Hoars"