Speaking of Bullshit Charges - The 3 Foam System

If you one of my proud 36 followers or one of 7 people who use our message boards - you probably saw a post about Bullshit Charges at the gas pump. 

Here's another gem.

I remember in the summer of '89 helping my dad wash his corvette in the dead of summer.  Hours of detailing with q-tips and various soaps.  The only real way to own a fucking car.  Clean it yourself. 

The biggest thing I learned that summer came when my dad turned to me and said, "If you're going to wash a car, and you don't have three different colored foam conditioners - you may as well have it towed away."

Now this may not be a bullshit charge technically since it's 3 bucks for that plus other stuff.  The phenomena here - is that there is someone out there who's gonna tell his wife or maybe even his kid - that he swears by the 3 foam wash.

Ya know it wouldn't surprise me if they started advertising that they made this shit with real fruit or something.  Or organic coloring that helps keep environment clean as you drive.

Who Is Your Wifey and What Does She Do?

LOS ANGELES (AP) - Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt and his estranged wife squared off in court for the first time Monday in a bitter divorce case that featured the couple's high-flying spending habits after the team was purchased in 2004.

The court hearing, only a mile from Dodger Stadium, centered on whether Jamie McCourt should be awarded nearly $1 million a month in temporary spousal support. Sorrell Trope, an attorney for Frank McCourt, offered her $150,000 in monthly assistance and argued his client can't tap credit lines to maintain Jamie McCourt's lavish lifestyle despite Frank McCourt's $5 million annual salary.

First off - who's buying major league teams on a 5 mil salary?  McCourt is loaded.  His family is loaded and there is money in banks all over the world with his name on it.  His grandfather owned the Boston Braves and half of Brookline, MA.  For all of you non-Bostoners - Brookline is like a quiet Beverly Hills to Boston's LA.  

So back to the whore - she marries into money and becomes CEO of a baseball team.  Sure she worked a bit and probably made a few big decisions.  But let's talk about cause and effect.  

Cause - Marrying a rich dude

Effect - Aligning yourself with money for the rest of your life

Ok - I'd marry rich.

BUT - if i banged my smoking hot FEMALE body guard (who would no doubt protect me with martial arts - I don't need Miss She-Hulk following me around and cramping my shit) I wouldn't be looking for 1 mil a month.  I mean this broad banged the bodyguard.

I'm waking up - reading about my scandal going public - walking out my front door and saying:

"Well - I had a good run since marrying that hot rich chick with the hot bodyguard"

or

"Well - I had a good run of coconut shrimp and yachts"

See that's the thing about guys - we take what we can get and when its over - we don't ask for more of what we never should have had. 

Full article here

McCourt wiki here

Monday March 29th, 2010 - Kill Animals, Spelling Bee & Elin the Homewrecker

You'll notice the giant picture of Bill's head is not hanging out in the header anymore.  At first I thought legal was coming down on me, because I stole the pic from Bill's page.  Turns out its Google's problem and I won't be appearing in court for copy right infringement.

OFF THE BAT

Bill would like to remind you all to start killing animals.

These bastards kill anything they want and we're tryin to save them? 

Look at this panda.  Is this even a joke?  It's like when some dude in Taiwan trains a chicken to lay an egg directly into his frying pan.  People train animals all the time and this panda totally knows how to unload rounds on anyone coming near his shit.

Message Board HEADS UP! - what Animal would you like to be mauled by?  Leave your answers for Bill to read.  Punch it when you're done

I'm going with a Grizzly Bear.  I always thought with a few good hot routes and some cuts in the backfield - I would be able to tire that thing out or just outsmart it by weaving through trees. (I'm sure generations of deer of calling bullshit).

The Theismann Injury

LET'S GET SMART AMERICA - formerly known as STRAIGHT TO THE DOME

Wouldn't you know 30 minutes after I post a 'Straight to the Dome' - Bill tells me he's got a new segment 'Let's Get Smart America'.  So here we go...

1. catalyst

2. cantalope

3. chloroform

4. penitentiary

5. aesthetics

6. infrastructure

7. succinct

8. pertinent  (we're all laughin Bill)

9. negotiate

10. dilemma

11. silhouette

BILL'S EMBARRASSING MOMENTS on the PODCAST

the Explanation point

UK CORRECTIONS

This just in.  England IS a country.  If you read the Addendum regularly - you'll notice I highlighted that on the Bill Said area to your right.  Coming full circle on the Addendum - you can't plan this shit.

OVERRATED/UNERRATED - Yeah - "I SAID IT"

"the beatles....yeah I said it...."

ELIN NORDEGREN

Elin Nordegren - home wrecker.  Basically the idea here is that Tiger could have never done all of that stuff unless he had a real good reason.

"Have you done anything?  Have you even won a swim meet?"

"You think Stedman give's a fuck?"

"That bitch is doing what everybody wants to be doing.  Absolutely nothing."

"Tiger Wood's wife is a lazy fucking twat.  That's why he cheated on her."

"You know why I don't know your name sweetheart? Cause ya never did anything!"

Straight to the Dome

Amazon dropped their price a few bucks on 'End the Fed' last week and I highly recommend you all grab a copy. 

It's totally worth reading - and I can guarantee you the next time you enter into a conversation about the monetary system, monetary politics or bankholes - you'll be outshining the doosh at work regurgitating Keith Olbermann.

I can't imagine why you wouldn't buy, read and lend out these books.  Oh right - you can't read AND watch Dancing with the Stars at the same time.  Enjoy that - I'm sure you'll be doing the Paso Doble in no time with all those mental notes you took.

Everybody Settle Down

I've received just under 250,000 emails from people asking - "Where's the podcast?"


Let's cool the brakes and pump the jets here.  I may have inside information but I'm Peter Parker and he's J. Jonah Jameson - not the other way around.

I mean the guy's in Europe - that alone spells trouble.  What are the chances he's got the adapters?  How about the fact that if he's not using his own computer he's gotta transfer the MMP from the Olympus to another computer.

Settle down - we'll find out soon enough.

Socialist Hype Mode

If you know the podcast - you know Bill has no problem pulling some Obama-nomics and spreading the wealth of plugs and hype.  Well I'm a fan of Joe Rogan and I think the guy hits a lot of shit on the head.  So I'm giving him a little exposure on the Addendum.  You're welcome Joe.  

UK Update! Knight on the Town

In case you're not a true Addendite - and you didn't read this week's Addendum - Bill had a meet and greet with Prince Harry and possibly other members of royalty.

They LOVE Bill in the UK - especially at Ken's Palace. Bill had a seven course meal and was runner up to be knighted.  He lost out to Chef Gordon Ramsey's cousin Mitchell Ramsey.

Afterward, Bill and Prince Harry ditched their skirts and had a night on the town.  Bill taught Harry how to drink and Harry taught Bill how to cross his legs like a chick. 

For more pictures and articles on this - check out:

www.Bill-detroys-300yrold-foreign-relations-with-theUK.com

Thank You Friday

Here at the Addendum - we believe strongly in acknowledgment.  And by 'we' - I mean 'I'.

By acknowledgment - I mean - 'kind words that make me feel more legit'.

So I would like to start off by thanking the thankers.  To all of you who have thanked me for putting together this site - you will all receive...


FREE MOUSE PADS from the fine people at ACTIVIA  - who are currently launching an honest campaign -  Regular...its a euphemism for 'I shit'.

I don't actually have any of these.  But if you have an old Activia mouse pad laying around - please inform the Addendum.


Thanks,
theIntern

St. Patty's Day and Some Classic Pod

Couldn't agree with Bill more.  St. Patrick's day is lame unless you own a bar and you're looking forward to increased revenue.

Even though my family hails from the Mediterranean, I still feel like I can fairly weigh in on the holiday.  It's a bunch of people who wouldn't have the balls to drink NEXT Wednesday.

And if some drunken Irish cliche' says 'we drink every Wednesday' - guess what - it voids today from being a HOLIDAY.  Ya know - a special day that stands out among the rest. 

And if the corn beef and hash, and the rest of the boiled dinner are so great - why aren't there restaurants serving this shit all year round?

Imagine if the Italians had a day?  St. Anthony's day.  Where everyone drank red wine and shoveled veal into their pasta holes.

Not to mention I'm sure you're all making St. Pat over here real proud.  He ditched the snakes.  What'd you do?  Get hooked up with a round of Jameson at McGilly's Generic Pub cause you work at the GameSpot next door?




 3/17/08

Speaking of Bullshit Charges

Who's letting this happen?  We're cool with this?  Variable? 

Apparently we're running the sales tax percentages like market fish pricing.

Just pick a number...is it that hard?  Or at least let us know what the flavor of the week is.

Would it eff up some type of plot that's gonna have us all by the balls?

Monday March 15, 2010 Banks, Brits and Bitches

OFF THE BAT

Bill's having problems with his.  What better way to act on this anger than to counter the banks monetary oppression and thievery with a little END THE FED talk.

or really get educated by reading this book - Ron Paul - End the Fed


Share your wisdom about banking with Bill on the Message Board



The difference is ratings...

Bill has just informed me that he made arrangements with Prince Harry's people for a meet and greet.  All you British bitches (wenches?) who are into pale dudes - head to Bill's show for a one two knock out of Anglo-Sexans.

THIS WEEK IN FILM

Peter Cook and Dudley Moore - the original Bill and Joe Uninformed


550 Rep Workout




Reggie Watts



The Tree Terminator

I sent this to Bill this week....I've watched it a few times....I just can't stop gawking at the efficiency of this machine....

STRAIGHT TO THE DOME

i don't really think you need the list....dictionary.com if you want more spelling related material

Bill's new spelling tutor has put together a resume of her work

OBSCURITIES

Lit:
The Creature from Jekyll Island - G. Edward Griffin and Dan Smoot

What a day the anti-fed circut...

Speaking of Bill...

I get this email at least once a month from a comedy club in RI.  I saw Bill there last spring.  Great time.  But as of now - I'm all set with Rico's Comedy Connection.  I don't even live on the east coast anymore so it's not like I'll be sitting around wondering what to do and say - "let me check out that club/bar establishment for comedy".

This is the email and if anyone can figure out how to unsubscribe to it - I'll give you a post on any Burr topic.  300 words to say whatever you want to all 14 readers.

Comedy Connection
39 Warren Ave
East Providence, RI 02914
401-438-8383
 
A special ticket giveaway for our email members:

Here's your shot to win tickets to Saturday or Sunday night !!!
 
Respond to this email (see instructions below for what to include!) and see if you're one of 20 email members randomly selected to win 4 FREE tickets!
 
Chose from one of the following:
 
Saturday March 13th Corey Rodrigues 8pm
or
Saturday March 13th Corey Rodrigues 10:15pm 
or
Sunday March 14th Comedy Showcase 8pm
 
Please include your full name and phone number AND WHICH SHOW in the email
 
Please take a moment and vote for us!
http://thephoenix.com/thebest/providence/vote/comedyclubnight/?widget=true

 
DON'T FORGET - ROBERT KLEIN TICKETS NOW ON SALE! (MARCH 18th)

 

Check out our full schedule @ www.ricomedyconnection.com

 

See you at the show!


(email responses should go to: info@ricomedyconnection.com)

 

TO UNSUBSCRIBE SCROLL TO BOTTOM AND CLICK LINK!


And I've already exchanged emails with Rico or whoever it is on the other end.  They just keep telling me to scroll down to the bottom.  Great idea.

De Niro Lands role as Lombardi

What's this have to do with the podcast? 

Well if you listen enough you'd know De Niro and Lombardi have both been mentioned before. 

Plus - why wouldn't you want to know this?

I'm calling - great movie, no oscar.

Punch the Orange above to comment.

Review and Critique Cherry

It's all happening so fast.  First the Addendum makes its maiden journey into the world of comments.

Now...the praise and critiques....

'No Naccubens' decided to be as efficient as possible and give us a one-two of 'your site is great', but 'certain things suck.'.

No Naccubens said... / March 9, 2010 5:43 AM  

Dude this is an awesome page. Great job. Makes the MMPC so much better, and it's already awesome

No Naccubens said... / March 9, 2010 5:45 AM  

BTW, this comment frame isn't easy to deal with. The word verification isn't visible so you have to TAB down the to text box to even see it. Not a whole lot of people know how to do that.

Is the commenting section that bad?

Would anyone besides Camp and Naccu even know this yet?

Does anyone know how to rebuild a comments section?  Cause I sure has hell have no idea....

UPDATE:  I still don't know how to 'rebuild a comments section'... that didn't just happen in 20 minutes....BUT....no more word verification.  BOOM

Britain to Implant Chips in Dogs

Apparently micro-chipping kids was a little too much too soon.  

RAPHAEL G. SATTER, Associated Press Writer

LONDON (AP) — British dog owners may be forced to microchip their pets and take out insurance, part of a proposed crackdown on the country's dangerous canines.

Postmen are delighted, but civil libertarians grumble that Britain's sprawling surveillance state now wants to track the nation's estimated 8 million dogs. Others complain that the insurance plan would impose a financial penalty on innocent pet owners — while criminals who own violent animals will simply shirk the law.

"This is yet more surveillance and continuous data-grabbing by government who want to have as much information on us as it can possibly have," said Dylan Sharpe, a campaigner with privacy rights group Big Brother Watch. Opposition lawmaker Nick Herbert said the proposal risked "penalizing millions of law-abiding dog owners with the blunt instrument of a dog tax."

The government's proposals are aimed at tackling the growing problem of aggressive canines being used to harass, attack and even kill. In a country where guns are tightly controlled and even carrying a kitchen knife can result in a prison sentence, animal rights experts and politicians say street thugs have turned to dangerous-looking dogs to cow their victims.

 Full article - Punch Here

Where the fuck is Sarah McLaughlin when you need her??? 

You ask me to sympathize with a one eyed cat, that has a purple heart stapled to its chest....fine - even though I hate cats.  But what are you gonna do about this outrage Sarah?   Do these dogs deserve to have artificial materials planted in their brains?

Don't they know it's going to set a few obvious things into motion?  Have any of these 'chipping' scientists seen Conquest of the Planet of Apes?

Let me break it down if you haven't either.....

1.  Cats & Dogs die out because of a virus (probably from bad micro-chipping materials).  
2.  Man replaces them by having apes as pets.  
3.  Man begins to uses apes as slaves.  
4.  Apes take their shit out on Man.  Apes conquer man.

It's like basic Darwin shit.  The most natural of progressions.  Check out that chapter titled "Apes go Ape Shit".

Comment Cherry

In a huge turn of events - the Addendum has received its first comment.

the Addendum would like to thank 'Camp' for having the balls to comment first.

As of now he's championing the feedback department.

Camp said... / March 8, 2010 11:05 AM  

Ok, I'll break the ice. This is the internet chat room version of being the first idiot on the dance floor, only with a way lower chance of getting laid. Speaking of not getting laid, to the libido crushing heart breaker out in Bahhhston: Is the year mark the point in your relationships where you get comfortable enough to start wearing sweatpants? Because I'll tell you, nothing snaps a vagina shut faster than a guy rolling around in sweatpants. Bonus points if you have some sort of dried paint on them from the last time you undertook a home improvement project. If you must go the 'comfortable' route around the house, invest in a pair or two of Adidas-like warm up pants. At least those will conjure of images of athleticism when you roll out of the rack at the crack of noon. Other things that will induce tumbleweed-friendly climates in and around your lady's nether-regions: Ass-breath, excessive flatulence, swampcock. Maybe I'm way off, but it sounds like complacency might be your problem.

Punch the Orange comment link above.

The Sushi Place Bill Talked About

March 8th, 2010 - Bill gets bumped, Roth & Killer Dwarfs

OFF THE BAT

San Jose was good to Bill up until the point they ditched him...


It happened...Bill got bumped by the Oscars.






Billy Gardell and Randy Baumann


Couple of penguin fans- direct finger message.


Bill then hypes theAddendum.  And I am to remain namelss.
Sincerely,
A**rew

Bill talks Terry again.


copy of interview to come

THIS WEEK IN FILM

Van Halen - And the Cradle Will Rock



Killer Dwarf Midgets





This guy is a fuckin a professional....

DEAR BILL

Listener:  I crush woman's libido's.  Just got out of second long term relationships.  Both started the same.  Both girls loved to 'fuck like rabbits'.  Until the second year of each relationship - it all drops off.
 

Bill:  It happens.  Go bang some woman.  Go after the ones that seem outta your league - it'll only make you better.

Listener:  Where to go in Boston?

Bill:  Cappy's Liquors on Rt 1.  and the Calhoun.  Blanchard's Brockton.  The Penalty Box.  Stay away from the freedom trail.

Beck/Clapton

Bill mentioned the great article in Stones this month featuring Jeff Beck and Eric Clapton.  Beck has always been one of my favorite guitarists.  Definitely underrated.  Here are some great clips of Beck.

Beck is known for his instrumental cover of the Beatle's "A Day in the Life".




"Cause We Ended As Lovers" - Live at Crossroads

The MMP

So I've been updating this thing for a few weeks now.  Ironically I have about 14 regular readers.  The stuff Bill talks about is great.  If it wasn't, I wouldn't be using my free time to help spread the word about someone else's career, in no way advancing my own.

Every time I'm tempted to write something that I think is remotely funny, I remember that it's Bill's shit we're talking about and Bill's shit only.  So basically I'm a full time journalist with little to no commentary, little input, and my only source is a guy talking into a blue microphone once a week about shit he rambles.  I'm working with leftovers basically. 

I'll take it.

In the mean time feel free to email me with anything Bill/MMP related.  theIntern@theMMPodcast.com
No "Ask Bill"  or "Oh Jesus!" stuff.  Send that shit to him -  bill@billburr.com

March 1, 2010 -

The podcast is only appearing on BillBurr.com as of now.  It's not for DL on iTunes yet.

OFF THE BAT

Early 'SUCK' warning on this one.  Usually it takes Bill til the 20 minute mark to realize the direction of the podcast.  The best part is that most of the time he thinks they suck - they're actually really good.  Chiming in at the 3 minute mark about its 'suck' level - could be a good one.

Update: eh.....

Canada takes the Gold. 

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

To: THE IMPROV

From:  RATIONAL FEMALE COMEDY CLUB PATRON

"To Whom It May Concern,

I attended Bill Burr's first show on Friday the 26th, and was utterly appalled by his performance.  I love comedy, and I certainly expect there to be rudeness, crudity and offensive topics - that's what makes it fun.  That being said, Bill Burr took it way too far and was quite unprofessional to say the least.  While initially there was indeed a lot to laugh at.  The show ended up being a complete disappointment.  For at least 30 minutes he blasphemed God and the name of Jesus Christ.  He outright degraded the Catholic religion, although I do not belong to this religion.  It was offensive and what he said went on and on.  

While this type of thing should be expected, he took it way to far.  And there was a young lady who like I was becoming offended.  And said a few words to someone at her table.  When he rudely addressed her, she told him that she was catholic.  He had no apologies or considerations just utter disrespect.  After he finally got off that subject his show got worse.  It appeared to my friends and i that he may be getting heat from some of the audience and  felt uncomfortable.  This may very well be the reason he continued to pick on the lady even at one point telling her to shut the fuck up.  This is downright unprofessional.  Who said you can't say a few words to someone at the table.  They were quietly speaking and making no noise whatsoever.  On the other side there was a table talking quite a bit more and they were louder due to the drinks.  They were more disruptive than anything, but he made jokes about it.  We are convinced that his wrong demeanor was due to his discomfort after he realized he offended some of the audience.  In order to justify himself and ease any tension coming from the audience member he said, 'don't listen to me I'm just an idiot up here.  Pray for me'. I am very surprised that your club hosted this comedian.  It was a true disappointment.  I am embarrassed as I was the one who suggested the Improv when my friends were planning on seeing a comedy show.  I do hope that you will consider not having this comedian back as he gives your club a bad name.  If this had been my first time to the Improv I never would have returned.  YOu might consider hiring some local talent there are some really good comedians I can get you in touch with.....

As for the lady hi picked on - she and her table were unjustifiably asked to leave.  There was no grounds on having them escorted from the grounds right in the middle of it.  Again - they were not being disruptive at all.  If it hadn't been Bill Burr, no one would have even noticed them.  The loud table on the other side though is the one that took attention away from the show.  I do understand that it is private property and anyone can be asked to leave, but this was the wrong time to do it.  I personally believe she should get an apology from the Improv, but most importantly Bill Burr.

-Ruth

STRAIGHT TO THE DOME

 Bill's looking to raise his IQ and heighten his all around intellectual consciousness.

You may be inclined to read a book or maybe even go back to school to do all of this.  If that's not your bag...

TED: Ideas Worth Spreading

luminosity

10 to 1 says you watch and retain more from this....

THIS WEEK IN FILM

Douche Off.

BILL AKS

On the subject of marriage...

Listener's Story:  23 yrs old - get's girl pregnant.  Get's married.  Awful.  All arrangements are made, families meet - ready to pull trigger.  Three days before wedding - watched a movie where I guy gives advice to bail.  Takes it to heart and cancels wedding.  Feels so bad - gets married three months later.  Married for 7 years.  Divorced now.

Bill:  Great move...until you blew it.

Listener's Story:  Wiccan Handfastening

this one is a must listen....

OBSCURITIES

Lit:  The article in Rolling Stone is surprising good as Bill mentioned.  Worth a read.  BAILOUT

Music:  Pantera - Cowboys From Hell; Vulgar Display of Power