Addendum: May 17, 2010 - Hockey, Married Chicks & Arguing with Girls

Commencing Addendinization...

OFF THE BAT

Dan Shaughnessy

THIS WEEK IN FILM

ALSO

Ghost Bike

ASK BILL

Listener:  What are your views on celebrity adoption?
Bill:  Playing devils advocate.  Put a kid in a house with running water and fed him.  'Heathens pray in public'.  But why you gotta hold the kid up on People Magazine.  I'm sick of you people who don't live in LA that think its all plastic.

Listener:  I'm 21 years old and I attend a Big Ten college.  I don't consider myself the greatest looking guy but I make up for it in intelligence.  For the past two years, I've been doing horribly in school dealing with things that are really depressing.  I've had to come up with clever ways to pass classes and not get kicked out of school.  I figured out a way to do little or no work while charming people.  However my lack of foresight is very much evident now as something you saw coming happened.  I fell for my T.A.  While I do try and charm her, be being o attracted to her has fueled my motivation to study.  I go every week to her office hours she holds for students.  It ends up being me and her flirting.  However, maybe its because I'm a male - I didn't notice the wedding ring.  I've been in her class for 4 months, I brought it up saying 'holy shit you're married?'.  She goes, "oh, eh, yeah".  Since this I've been bringing up her husband.  The more I bring it up, the more it seems like she regrets getting married.  What would you suggest doing to feel out the likelihood of this marriage lasting?  If it's clear that it's not, with not much prying done at my part, what do I do to bring up the question of a break up?
Bill:  She wants to bang you.  She's trying to get out.  You shouldn't do it.  You don't know what this girls gonna do.  Bang you in a rainstorm.  So she can go home sopping wet "I just fucked one of my students".  If you're gonna bang her - just fucking bang her. Don't do anything, but if you're gonna - don't date her.  She needs to get an apartment, live by herself for a year and a half, cry it out and then get therapy to see what the fuck is wrong with her.

Listener:  In the end your podcast made a girl cry.  I was out with a close friend and his g/f having some drinks.  The girl says athletes are overpaid.  1. They generate money.  2. Everyone competes, gotta give credit to the best.  Turned into an argument that pro woman don't get paid that much.  Oh you're one of those girls.  Tried to stay out of it.  She said 'say it'.  So it began.  She said she played high school soccer so she knew sports.  (Insert listener's sports resume)  So i said - "I have never played soccer in my life but I can guarantee that I'm better at it than you are."  Then it got to Ed Hardy shirts.  I said girls do like those Ed Hardy shirts, she said they don't.  Then I admitted I think I know more about woman than she does.  Then I quoted Bill Burr.  We have to develop skills to get woman to like us.  Then I said - "how many woman did you try and get to sleep with you?" Turns out she was a lesbian before and started to cry.
Bill:  Did I write this drunk and send it to myself?