Addendum: August 30, 2010

THIS WEEK IN FILM

Crazy Guy Sings Karaoke

Killer Kahn

Hay Baling Fun

Pole Dancing Ruins Wedding

Calling in Sick to Walmart

Fat Rapper

Cool Hand Luke

Addendum: August 23, 2010

THIS WEEK IN FILM

Pissed Off Cat Freaks Out


Prank of the Century


Choke Slam


Swollen in Philly


Little Girl Boxer (pretty boy bam bam)


Boston Street Fight - Guy Does Damage With Bat


Macho Man on Coke


Ultimate Warrior's Confession


Office Worker Goes Insane (2nd Angle)


The Turtleman


Stairway to Heaven - The Beatnix

Addendum: August 17, 2010

THIS WEEK IN FILM

Lady on Toilet for 2 years

Quitting Your Job in Style

The Peckham Terminator

We Are Better Than That

Enjoy Penis More

Indian Lady Sings We Will Rock You

embedding disabled by the asshole who posted it.
click here

Addendum: August 9, 2010

THIS WEEK IN FILM

Guy Walks Into Traffic

Slayer Goes to Church

Best Judge Judy Ending Ever

Addendum: August 2, 2010 - Letters on Letterman, Film Study & Overrated/Underrated

Suggested Listening

Bad Covers

Madonna - American Pie

THIS WEEK IN FILM
Pug Sings Batman Theme


Drunk Ass Knockout


Wasted Guy At Coachella


Woman Wakes Up to Intruder in Bed

Alien on the Porch

Addendum: July 19, 2010

THIS WEEK IN FILM

Zero Hour vs Airplane




Balls of Steel
HERE
(Embedding disabled)

Eagle vs Goat

Adendum: July 12, 2010 - Rant, Ask Bill & Film

Hola,

Bill forgot to mention the video we filmed on Friday.  So find it on Digg, send it to your friends in adjacent cubicles and anyone with video capabilities.

Nice shirt

Chevy Vega

ASK BILL

Listener:  Bill, my friend started dating this girl.  They didn't work.  My friend thought I had a thing for her.  She's good looking and we were friends before they got together.  "I actually knew her before he did.  I admit I may have been inadvertently been a little flirty with her sometimes, but that shit always happens with a guy and a girl, I think.  Either way I told him I didn't like her, which was true... They've been broken up for at least and year and they don't talk.  She says he randomly texts her but he doesn't ever answer him.  But now this girl likes me and basically says she wants to fuck.  She tells me stuff like she wishes she went out with me instead of him to begin with... This buddy of mine is a little nuts.  My other friend says I should, but others say I shouldn't.  The last I talked to her, she said she wanted to hang out, just me and her."

Bill:  In a perfect world, you're a man and you say 'ya know what, that's not gonna be worth the blow back... fucking your best friend is like committing a murder, the less people involved the better.  you don't go around asking - dude should I do it??'

Listener:  Why does a one way ticket cost more than a domestic flight?  I'm flying from Europe and it costs more than a one and a half times the cost of a round trip. 

Bill:  They do whatever they want.  They ran out of ways to legally increase profits so now they fuck you.  We'll just write this little Bill here and have a senator push it through.  What you have to do is vandalize the airplane.  You have to find out who it is that came up with that.  Who created that.  Who is the lobbyist that made that legal.  Tail them all week.  Get their patterns down.  Figure out when they go to the gym.  Get some pantyhose.  And put their face into the mulch and jam it in there.

THIS WEEK IN FILM

Duck Face Song

Yo Yo Prankster

This is Hip Hop

Lebron Parody

Cannibal Corpse - Hammer Smash Face

Cannibal Corpse - Hammer Smash Face Disney Edit

Adendum: July 5, 2010

Happy Birthday America

THIS WEEK IN FILM

Mel calls out the asshole



Double Rainbow Orgasm


Jones' BBQ and Foot Massage



Creepy Yoga Farmer


Best Wrestling Promo Ever


Fat Nerd Gangster

Adendum: June 28th, 2010

Bill from Vegas.


Elvis - Stuck On You


The Orleans Hotel and Casino

Joe Rogan the Buffer 360





Vocal Soup


Best Cry Ever


Best Cry Ever (auto-tuned)



Chimp Rapes Frog



Nash Metropolitan




Peter Lik Photography

Addendum: June 21, 2010

I was at the late show on Saturday.  That bitch got her ass handed to her by Bill.  He did it like a pro.  He gave her a chance to cool her shit, but she kept pushing.  It was awesome.  She started up about 20 minutes after he shut her up and we all cheered as she was escorted out.

 Heckling

1. To try to embarrass and annoy (someone speaking or performing in public) by questions, gibes, or objections; badger.

2. To comb (flax or hemp) with a hatchel.

 

 "SHHHHHHHHHHH"    .......   Ma'am

  DOUCHE-BITCH of the WEEK

House-cunts of OC

Pau vs. the Wacky Inflatable Arm Guy

 BILL ON THE RECORD

"NBA Officials....there's something going on.  That's all I can say."

  

Bill on Twitter?

As posted earlier - punch the Message Boards to Vote

Leave your comments below the poll for Bill to read.

How else to listen to the Podcast?

 Give your feedback on this thread on the Message Boards  Here

THIS WEEK IN FILM

OVERRATED/UNDERRATED

Underrated:  Letting your frozen pizza cool the recommended 2 minutes
Overrated:    Membership cards chain stores are pushing




MOVE RECOMENDATION
Rampage -  A man with a thirst for revenge builds a full body armor from Kevlar and goes on a killing spree.

 

Night Train

Addendum: June 7, 2010 - Oil Spill, What Sucks... & Spelling Idiots

Dumb Oil Bird

Riley Odoms

Haven Moss

Lawrence Welk Show's Bobby and Cissy

Bill's first album.  Mitch Miller and the Gang

LAKERS, CELTICS, BLACKHAWKS & FLYERS

Why do we give a fuck?

Answer Bill's question - punch the link above.

 What sucks....

-Lakers flags are gay - with your team flags clipped on 

-Living in the rival cities

-Hilary Swank courtside

-Plastic surgery at 20

-Sport cunts who won't give credit to your rival

In case you blew it and didn't check theMMPodcast that day...

National Spelling Bee draws protesters calling for phonetic spelling

By Mike McPhate
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, June 4, 2010; 2:07 PM

A tiny group of activists for phonetic spelling gathered again Friday outside the Scripps National Spelling Bee at the downtown Grand Hyatt.

The protesters believe English spelling is mired by too many spellings for identical sounds and too many sounds for identical spellings. If they got their way, "you" would become "yoo," "believe" would become "beleeve" and "said" would become "sed."

The cost of clinging to traditional spellings, they say, is millions of illiterate English speakers who struggle to read signs or get good jobs, and billions of dollars in lost productivity.

The campaign for simple spelling, which activists say started more than 100 years ago, is experiencing a revival with kids who have taken wholeheartedly to phonetic spelling in electronic messages.

"I think right now the young people are sending us a text message," said protester Roberta Mahoney, a former Fairfax County school principal who was dressed in a yellow-and-black-striped bumble bee costume. "They're saying enough of this foolishness."

Statistics vary widely on U.S. illiteracy, but a 2003 federal study found that 11 million American adults lacked skills to read and write in English. 

 

 pile into the Vacation Wagon

THIS WEEK IN FILM

Drummer Shows up to wrong Gig

Korean Drummer Rocks Out

Aerosmith - Movin Out

See Bill at Caroline's Comedy Club in NYC.  Probably the best club to see Bill perform.

BUY TICKETS

Addendum: May 31, 2010 - God Bless the U.S. of A., Classic Cars & Other Riffings

Hey intern - where's the Addendum?  How about you start syncing up with Bill better and stop being a hack?
VeritasRepublic2314@xxx.com

I'm a day late.  I was shitfaced.  Sorry if you had to manually look some shit up this week Veritas.  Three months of this site and you're already hooked.  Good luck kicking that habit I'm sure you have.


37 seconds in is the run Bill is referring to.

Hit the message boards for a Grandma Boy's thread.  Love or hate - show it.


DoucheBag of the week.  The apologetic reiteration.


Totally on his way to getting laid.

THIS WEEK IN FILM

The Shadows - FBI


Britny Fox - Girlschool Live



the Dave Matthews Dance




J. Leno's Garage



1958 Oldsmobile

1961 Chevy Impala

1965 Buick Riviera

Addendum: May 24, 2010 - Covers, Generations & Ask Bill

OFF THE BAT

Next week - Nick Swardson

Generation:

Generation (from the Latin generāre meaning to beget^[1]), also known as procreation, is the act of producing offspring. In a more generic sense, it can also refer to the act of creating something inanimate such as electrical generation or cryptographic code generation.

A generation can also be a stage or degree in a succession of natural descent as a grandfather, a father, and the father's son comprise three generations. A generation can refer to stages of successive improvement in the development of a technology such as the internal combustion engine, or successive iterations of products with planned obsolescence, such as video game consoles or mobile phones.

In biology, the process by which populations of organisms pass on advantageous traits from generation to generation is known as evolution.

 "Oh, so that's a classy word for fucking...without a condom"

For your pleasure...

SHITTY COVERS

Jim Nabors - You Are the Sunshine of My Life

Bing Crosby - Hey Jude

Dokken

THIS WEEK IN FILM

Bill and Tony Clifton

Addendum: May 17, 2010 - Hockey, Married Chicks & Arguing with Girls

Commencing Addendinization...

OFF THE BAT

Dan Shaughnessy

THIS WEEK IN FILM

ALSO

Ghost Bike

ASK BILL

Listener:  What are your views on celebrity adoption?
Bill:  Playing devils advocate.  Put a kid in a house with running water and fed him.  'Heathens pray in public'.  But why you gotta hold the kid up on People Magazine.  I'm sick of you people who don't live in LA that think its all plastic.

Listener:  I'm 21 years old and I attend a Big Ten college.  I don't consider myself the greatest looking guy but I make up for it in intelligence.  For the past two years, I've been doing horribly in school dealing with things that are really depressing.  I've had to come up with clever ways to pass classes and not get kicked out of school.  I figured out a way to do little or no work while charming people.  However my lack of foresight is very much evident now as something you saw coming happened.  I fell for my T.A.  While I do try and charm her, be being o attracted to her has fueled my motivation to study.  I go every week to her office hours she holds for students.  It ends up being me and her flirting.  However, maybe its because I'm a male - I didn't notice the wedding ring.  I've been in her class for 4 months, I brought it up saying 'holy shit you're married?'.  She goes, "oh, eh, yeah".  Since this I've been bringing up her husband.  The more I bring it up, the more it seems like she regrets getting married.  What would you suggest doing to feel out the likelihood of this marriage lasting?  If it's clear that it's not, with not much prying done at my part, what do I do to bring up the question of a break up?
Bill:  She wants to bang you.  She's trying to get out.  You shouldn't do it.  You don't know what this girls gonna do.  Bang you in a rainstorm.  So she can go home sopping wet "I just fucked one of my students".  If you're gonna bang her - just fucking bang her. Don't do anything, but if you're gonna - don't date her.  She needs to get an apartment, live by herself for a year and a half, cry it out and then get therapy to see what the fuck is wrong with her.

Listener:  In the end your podcast made a girl cry.  I was out with a close friend and his g/f having some drinks.  The girl says athletes are overpaid.  1. They generate money.  2. Everyone competes, gotta give credit to the best.  Turned into an argument that pro woman don't get paid that much.  Oh you're one of those girls.  Tried to stay out of it.  She said 'say it'.  So it began.  She said she played high school soccer so she knew sports.  (Insert listener's sports resume)  So i said - "I have never played soccer in my life but I can guarantee that I'm better at it than you are."  Then it got to Ed Hardy shirts.  I said girls do like those Ed Hardy shirts, she said they don't.  Then I admitted I think I know more about woman than she does.  Then I quoted Bill Burr.  We have to develop skills to get woman to like us.  Then I said - "how many woman did you try and get to sleep with you?" Turns out she was a lesbian before and started to cry.
Bill:  Did I write this drunk and send it to myself?

Addendum: May 3, 2010 - Gingers, Gay Moments & Polar Bear Apocalypse

In case you're new to the world wide web like Bill - I would like to remind you all that you can spell www.theMMPodcast.com - with as any combination of capital or lower case letters you can make.  

Is the domain too confusing?  I mean no one would have wanted to type out www.themondaymorningpodcast.com.  Then again I guess we're all using bookmarks these days.  Which in turn proves that it doesn't matter.  Alright - time to Addendize!

OFF THE BAT

Well Bill corrected himself right into that incorrection.  Paper PLANES Bill - you had it the first time. 

What Bill didn't tell you guys is that he is actually Ginger #4.  Look for the one making the slow motion, silent mouthing of the words - "You told?  You fucking told?" (rose bowl '08 podcast reference for all you rookies)

OVERRATED/UNDERRATED

If you don't have perfect pitch like theIntern and can't figure songs out by ear - here's a tab for Evil Walks.

GAY MOMENT of the WEEK

"Fuck yeah! I love ice cream!"

"It was a gay moment, we brushed hands and then I put a sweet treat in my mouth."

"It's worth grazing another man's hands" - in response to grape-nut ice cream.

OTHER STUFF

Bill said he was going to be on Letterman in May.  It has actually been moved to June.  

More on that next podcast.

Bill goes to Vegas - can' imagine why you wouldn't make that trip....unless you have kids and you're NOT a dead beat parent.

30 on 30 - The U

Way to be Pau...

THIS WEEK IN FILM

ASK BILL

Listener:
Bill - I'm afraid when I'm an adult I won't be able to blaze.  Do you know anyone your age or older who do smoke?
Bill:
Vaporizer - "You always went weed first....  Anyone remember crank?" - nope



Listener:
Bill - What are the rules if I'm opening for the headlining act?
Bill:
Go up and do your act in your allotted time.  You go up - you do your act and you destroy and make it hard for me.  That's the ideal.  There are some headliners out there say don't get dirty and don't fuck with the crowd.  I don't give a fuck how dirty you are - you can come in the green room and sell your shit.  Just do your time.  


Hypotheticals
Listener: 
Bill  - If something happened to your dog and she needed an operation that costs 50 grand - but there was only a 65% chance she'd live - would you do it?
Bill:
Absolutely - I'd pay twice that.  I'd mortgage my place.  She's a pit-bull.   And she'd never do 37 minutes cause she's loyal.